The Trials of Life
All of us experiences trials in life. They may vary by
type and source, but they are all challenging and have the potential to
dramatically alter the course of our lives. None of us are immune from trials; in
fact, each of us signed up for this mortal existence knowing full well that
trials would happen along the way. Think about the trials that you’ve
experienced in the past or present:
·
maybe you are
enduring a life-threatening disease;
·
maybe you are suffering
from painful addictions and are having trouble ridding yourself of worldly
compulsions;
·
maybe you’re in financial
debt and not sure if or how you’ll ever get out;
·
maybe you are
questioning your testimony and thinking about leaving the church;
·
maybe you’re a
teenager and you feel lonely because you’re the only one in your group of
friends who is trying to live a Christ-like life.
When we experience
these trials, it’s normal to ask why they happen and to wonder how we will
overcome them. I’d like to direct my talk toward helping to answer the ‘why’
and the ‘how’ of trials using the words of Holy Prophets and from what I’ve
learned through my own trials (and my own stupidity). I don’t expect this talk
to comprehensively solve the problems in your life (so I hope you won’t either),
but if something spoken today guides you closer to the Savior, I’ll sleep well
tonight.
So, why do trials happen? A search of the
scriptures and Conference talks will primarily reveal that they happen because they
give us an opportunity to become sanctified; they enable us to become more
Christlike. Elder D. Todd Christofferson reflected upon a trial he experienced
with amazing insight: “Though I suffered then, as I
look back now, I am grateful that there was not a quick solution to my problem.
The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an
extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer
and taught me in a very practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior
and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened
otherwise or that might have taken me much longer to achieve….I learned to
trust in the Lord with all my heart. I learned to walk with Him day by day.” (close
quote) Trials can expedite our conversion and spiritual transformation, even if
we already feel sufficiently converted and transformed.
Another reason why
trials happen is that they help us learn and become better people. While it may
be difficult to appreciate the refining fire of trials while surrounded by the
very flames, over time, we can begin to appreciate those tough times. President
Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency reflected on his experience as an
11-year old refugee in East Germany following WWII: Now,
decades later, I can look back on those days through the softening filter of
experience. Even though I still remember the hurt and despair, I can see now
what I was unable to see then: this was a period of great personal growth.
During this time, our family bonded together. I watched and learned from my
parents. I admired their determination and optimism. From them I learned that
adversity, when confronted with faith, courage, and tenacity, could be
overcome.
Another reason
that trials occur is that they provide opportunities to connect with our loved
ones, as Pres. Uchtdorf related. I’ve always had a hesitancy to open up to
others about my trials, but I’ve learned that our burdens become easier to bear
when we confide in trusted loved ones. I’ve been thinking about this crazy idea
of ‘opening up’ for a few weeks now and last Saturday I had an opportunity to
put it into practice. I was sitting at home with my wife and she noticed that
something was bothering me. Instead of doing what I usually do, which is to say
“nothing” and go back to my game of Angry Birds, I told her what was on my mind
and we ended up having a very meaningful conversation. As someone who doesn’t
always like to talk about his feelings, I at first felt very vulnerable bringing
up what was bothering me. I felt selfish spending someone else’s time talking
about my problems, but the more we talked, I felt comfort in the way she
listened and offered me her perspective. I could also feel the love that my
Father in Heaven has for me. I think He was kinda-sorta proud of me for letting
down my guard and talking to my wife. The problem on my mind, which had been
bothering me since I turned 30 and became an old man, had seemed like an
unavoidable conclusion, but now it seems solvable; I can see the solution
thanks to my wife’s loving counsel. If you feel like “opening up” and talking
with a loved one about a trial you’re currently going through, let me mention a
few helpful caveats: 1) it must be done at the right time, in the right way,
and to the right person; 2) it doesn’t mean we should be an open book, telling
everyone in earshot about all of our personal issues; and 3) talking with loved
ones about personal trials doesn’t in and of itself make our trials go away or
excuse us from learning whatever lessons we are supposed to learn from our
trials.
At the end of the
day, the most honest answer I can give as to why trials happen is, “I don’t
know.” That might seem naïve or perhaps dismissive, but in my experience spending
an inordinate amount of time wondering, “Why me?” has delayed opportunities to
learn and grow.
So, how should we respond when trials happen? Elder
Neil L. Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve gave the following counsel: “How do you remain steadfast and immovable during a trial
of faith? You immerse yourself in the very things that helped build your core
of faith: you exercise faith in Christ, you pray, you ponder the scriptures,
you repent, you keep the commandments, and you serve others. When faced with a
trial of faith – whatever you do, you don’t step away from the Church!
Distancing yourself from the Kingdom of God during a trial of faith is like
leaving the safety of a secure storm cellar just as the tornado comes into
view.”
Henry B. Eyring reminded
us of the importance of remembering what’s most important during trials when he
said, “So, the great test of life is to see whether
we will hearken to and obey God’s commands in the midst of the storms of life.
It is not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage. And the
tragedy of life is to fail in that test and so fail to qualify to return in
glory to our heavenly home.” I love that President Eyring compares life
to a test, the Lord being the teacher of the class. It brings to my mind all of
the great teachers I had growing up. The best teachers had a key trait in
common. If I ever was confused to the point where I couldn’t figure out what to
do next, I could talk to these teachers. They made themselves available, they
listened, and they taught me as much as I was willing and able to absorb. They never
just gave me the answer, and I didn’t always understand right away, but they
guided me toward the answer so that I could have my own learning experience. The
question is: is the Lord the kind of teacher who
wants to hear from us, and subsequently teach us? Let’s go to the
scriptures to find out…
The Savior told us
in Matthew: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are
heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” In the Book of Revelation he
said: “Behold, I
stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I
will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Through
Joseph Smith he said: “Draw near unto me and I will
draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me….And if your eye be
single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light…” To
the Nephites, as a voice from the heavens he said, “O
ye house of Israel whom I have spared, how oft will I gather you as a hen
gathereth her chickens under her wings….” I think the answer to my
earlier question is “Yes”, The Lord wants to hear from us often enough so that He
can teach and transform us. It’s so easy, yet so dangerous, to forget that the
key to our happiness and transformation in times of trial is to develop and
maintain a personal relationship with the Lord.
For the remainder
of my talk, I’d like to talk candidly about personal prayer. In public we talk
about the importance of prayer, but in private, I think we often overlook it,
don’t we? Personally, I’ve had many mornings when I’ve been in so much of a
rush to start my workday that I completely forget to pray. And to top that off
I’ve had many nights in which I’ve fallen asleep before I even had the chance to
forget. But being inspired by the Bishop’s testimony earlier this month, I’ve
tried to do a little better at placing the “affections of my heart upon the
Lord”, and I’ve found the results to be too wonderful to ignore. I’ve felt a
consistent sense of peace enter into my heart and stay with me throughout the
day several times since. I honestly don’t know how it works – all we do is
kneel down and start talking; it’s a little weird if you think about it. But
somehow, the simple act of kneeling down and raising our thoughts and feelings
toward Heaven can sanctify our actions, if we do it consistently and fervently.
What makes prayer
difficult for me is that sometimes I just don’t feel like doing it. Some
mornings I just want to get my day started, and some nights I just want to go
to bed. When I feel like this, the thing I’m trying to avoid is speaking to the Lord (or to anyone for
that matter). But what usually fixes it is doing the opposite –listening instead. I kneel down and
start thinking – I ponder and meditate – and within a few minutes I’m brought
back to a more spiritual and focused state of mind. At that point, I’m totally
willing to pray and my prayers reach the point of increasing my level of
conversion to the Lord. Just like a great teacher, the Lord has knowledge and
wisdom to impart; we just have to be willing to shortly delay the start or end
of our day to hear it.
In closing, Pres. Uchtdorf
said, it is often in the trial of adversity that we
learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our
destiny. I can say that if I’m worth anything in the site of the Lord,
it’s because of the difficult but essential lessons I’ve learned through the
refining fires of trials, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ;
amen.
